The Karma Machine
by frostyfreezyfreeze54
Summary: Jaylynn's past comes back to haunt her when a girl she used to bully comes to Seattle seeking retribution.
1. The Karma Machine Script

_Thank You, Heavenly_

Theme Song: "Let It Roll" by Divide the Day

SEASON 3

EPISODE 15

Airdate: April 12, 2015

Title: The Karma Machine

Segway Segment: _Thank You, Heavenly Shorts_ ("Wade's First Failure")

Special Guest Stars: Sabrina Carpenter as Sarah Bennett, Rowan Blanchard as Young Sarah, Kira Kosarin as Lynne

SCENE 1

Ike's Ice Cream Emporium

Interior Dining Area

Seattle, Washington

(Testicular Sound Express is in a booth drinking large Coca-Colas)

RK: I just don't see the point.

SPARKY: RK, balloons are supposed to celebrate your birthday, it's a positive thing.

RK: But it's so ridiculous. You spend five bucks on those things and they just sit there gathering dust for three months until you remember to cut the helium out. And kids don't even play with them.

WADE: Ah, the ramblings of a crotchety ten-year-old. Beautiful.

(Wade rolls his eyes and chuckles while RK gives him an unimpressed stare)

BUSTER: Hey, Jaylynn, once again, congratulations on winning the poetry contest tonight.

JAYLYNN: Buster, I came in fourth place.

BUSTER: Well, you won the poetry contest in my heart.

JAYLYNN: That's so sweet and corny at the same time.

SPARKY: To Jaylynn!

BUSTER AND WADE: To Jaylynn!

RK: BRAGA!

BUSTER: Braga?

RK: Yeah, I think Cimorelli went on vacation there that one time. I don't know why, but that word is so funny. Braga. (chuckles) Braga. Come on, rock with me, Buster. Braga!

BUSTER: (chuckles) Braga. Braga, Braga, Braga. Hey Wade, try it out.

WADE: Braaaaaaaaaaaga.

RK: Okay, you just ruined it.

SPARKY: Holy shit, what time is it?

WADE: 10:22, according to my watch.

BUSTER: Oh no, that means I missed my daily shower!

JAYLYNN: Buster, you could still take a shower when you go home.

BUSTER: I can't. I take my shower every day at 9:20 on the dot but now that I'm late, I might as well just skip it tonight.

WADE: Buster, that's gross.

RK: Wade, tradition is tradition. Your best friend once went two weeks without stepping into the tub. It changed my life.

BUSTER: So, it was a positive event that made you have, like a revelation or something?

RK: No, my dad said I smelled like ass and I should get in the tub before he makes me. To this day, I still think about that man chucking a loofah at my head.

WADE: You know what, it's going to be the devil hour before I know it. I better head home.

SPARKY: So am I.

RK: Yeah, I'm going to get a good beauty sleep tonight. It takes time and preparation to make sex appeal like this a reality.

BUSTER: Hey Jaylynn, you want to carpool? I just yawned and then I got tired, so I want to think it's leading to something.

JAYLYNN: Nah, I think I'm going to stay a bit longer.

SPARKY: You sure, Jay? It's a school night.

JAYLYNN: Hey, I had the fourth-best poem at the community center tonight. I think I deserve a little more grape juice.

SPARKY: Alright. Take care Jaylynn.

RK AND WADE: Bye.

BUSTER: See ya tomorrow.

JAYLYNN: See you guys.

SCENE 2

Ike's Ice Cream Emporium

Seattle, Washington

ONE HOUR LATER

(Jaylynn is shown leaving Ike's)

JAYLYNN: See you soon, Woody. And no, I don't think Metallica will ever play the Super Bowl. They hate sports.

(Jaylynn puts on her hood and begins walking towards home. As she walks near a quiet and empty street, a girl slightly taller than Jaylynn stares at her from across the street and approaches her, blocking her from walking any further.)

JAYLYNN: Um, can I help you?

(The girl's face is concealed by a mask and the darkness makes it even harder to identify any notable physical characteristics. The girl just stands over Jaylynn, not saying a single word.)

JAYLYNN: Yeah, look, I have to go home now so if you could just get out of the way, that would be nice.

(The girl remains as still as a statue, and Jaylynn is confused beyond belief. She decides to just walk around her, but the girl grabs her arm tightly.)

JAYLYNN: Hey, what the hell are you...

(The girl begins to attack Jaylynn, ramming her knee several times into Jaylynn's chest. She throws Jaylynn into a fence twice, and starts landing several blows to the face. She picks up Jaylynn and tosses her over a nearby parked car, causing her to lose consciousness completely and land on the concrete. To top it off, the girl picks up Jaylynn and throws her through the windshield of the car, leaving with a smirk and a chuckle. The camera does an interior shot of Jaylynn's lifeless body, with blood rapidly dripping down her arm.)

SCENE 3

iCarly Elementary School

Interior Lunchroom

Seattle, Washington

(The four boys are all eating together. Sparky looks understandably worried.)

SPARKY: Guys, have you heard from Jaylynn yet?

WADE: Nope. It's the strangest thing, I don't even think she was home.

(Jaylynn comes to the table with a bandage on her chin, a couple of scratch marks on her face, and a black eye.)

JAYLYNN: Hey guys.

RK: Jaylynn?!

SPARKY: What the hell happened?!

BUSTER: Let me examine her.

(Buster takes a look at Jaylynn's condition.)

BUSTER: Hmmmm, judging by the measurements of the scars, this looks like a reenactment of my falling down the stairs incident from last year. Awww, Jaylynn, you parodied me.

JAYLYNN: No, I didn't. And what happened to me was way worse than falling down the stairs.

WADE: Well, what DID happen?

JAYLYNN: S...someone...someone.

SPARKY: Someone...what?

JAYLYNN: I don't know, someone beat me up? Threw me through a windshield, almost cracked my ribs, no biggie.

SPARKY: WHAT?! WHO DID THIS TO YOU?!

BUSTER: Sparky, maybe you shouldn't...

SPARKY: NO, I'M PISSED OFF! I'm going to beat someone's ass if I need to. We need to go to the (bleep)ing police!

WADE: Jaylynn, do you remember anything about the person who assaulted you?

JAYLYNN: No. It was late at night, I could barely see them coming.

RK: Sparky's right. We need to file a police report and get this bastard locked up.

JAYLYNN: I don't think that's a good idea.

SPARKY: Jaylynn, don't you realize that if we don't do anything, this kid is just going to keep roaming the streets waiting for other people to go after? We need to tell someone about this.

JAYLYNN: That's not the point, I don't want any of you to become a target.

SPARKY: What are you talking about?

WADE: If you do go to the police with this, the person that hurt Jaylynn is going to know she has friends looking out for her and they're going to stop at nothing to find us and eradicate us.

BUSTER: You know, Wade does have a point. I know one kid who was stabbed on the block of his house because he snitched on the kid that stabbed his friend. The kid was really crafty with a knife, if you catch my drift.

JAYLYNN: Look, guys, I understand the concern, but this is my problem and I'm not dragging you into it.

SPARKY: But what if you get hurt again?

JAYLYNN: That's a risk I'm willing to take. Besides, this kid got lucky. I bet tonight, I snap their neck and take them to the cops myself.

(under my breath) RK: That used to be my catchphrase.

WADE: What exactly are you going to do?

JAYLYNN: I'm going to set a trap at the same place I was beaten last night. There's no reason I can't trick, bait, or con this son of a bitch for what they did to me.

SPARKY: Alright, Jaylynn. I'll trust you.

JAYLYNN: Thank you. I gotta say, I'm really glad you guys aren't breaking my balls about getting my ass kicked.

BUSTER: Why would we?

JAYLYNN: I don't know, you're kids. It's your job to lower my self-esteem.

SPARKY, BUSTER, AND WADE: True, true.

RK: Now that's truth, we would do such things.

SCENE 4

(Jaylynn is walking on the exact same street as the night before, looking around and waiting for the mystery assailant.)

JAYLYNN: ALRIGHT, WHO WANTS A PIECE OF ME NOW?! MIGHT AS WELL STEP UP, I'M NOT AFRAID TO BUST YOUR HEAD!

(The girl reappears behind Jaylynn)

GIRL: Looking for me?

(Jaylynn notices the girl and kicks her in the leg, knocking her down)

GIRL: Hey, what the hell?

JAYLYNN: Yeah, you have ten seconds to tell me who you are or I will give you the worst beating of your entire life.

GIRL: Yeah, that'll happen.

(The girl throws Jaylynn into a nearby car door and goes for a punch but misses. Jaylynn then hits a takedown on the girl and twists her arm until she starts screaming.)

GIRL: Okay, let go, I'm in pain!

JAYLYNN: Just one more thing.

(Jaylynn removes the mask the girl is wearing and we find out that she is a light-skinned, long-haired brunette)

JAYLYNN: Susan the butcher? You're behind this? What did I ever do to you, take what clearly say "free samples"?

GIRL: No, dumbass, I'm Sarah Bennett. Remember me?

JAYLYNN: C...could you give me more of a hint?

SARAH: Look into my eyes, Jaylynn.

(Jaylynn stares closely at Sarah and realizes who it is)

JAYLYNN: Oh my God! Sarah from third grade?!

SARAH: Yeah, Sarah from third grade. The girl who you used to be friends with and then started picking on because you were an evil bitch.

JAYLYNN: Look, I might have been a bully at one point, but...

SARAH: Shut up. You made my life a living nightmare for months. Thanks to you, I no longer trust anybody. But now, I'm going to make YOUR life a living nightmare.

(Sarah kicks Jaylynn twice in the chest and then once in the head. Jaylynn blacks out and the next scene is of her walking slowly towards Sparky's house. She has more scratch marks on her face and she is clutching her arm in pain. She then rings the doorbell, which Sparky goes to get.)

SPARKY: Jaylynn, what the...

(Jaylynn collapses in a frightened Sparky's arms.)

SCENE 5

The MacDougal Household

Interior Living Room

Seattle, Washington

(Sparky is talking to Jaylynn, who is laid out on the couch.)

SPARKY: Alright, Jaylynn, this is getting out of control. I want to know who's putting their hands on you and I want to know now.

JAYLYNN: Sarah Bennett.

(scratching his head) SPARKY: That lady from the toothpaste commercials?

JAYLYNN: No, Sparky, Sarah Bennett. Remember? I told you this already.

SPARKY: No, I really don't remember you telling me about that.

JAYLYNN: Wow, I really never did. Okay, Sparky, I don't know if you're going to find this hard to believe but when I was younger, I used to be a...a bully.

(long pause)

SPARKY: That's it? That's your big reveal? Dude, when I first met you, I knew that.

JAYLYNN: Okay, so maybe I'm not the best at storytelling! (sighs) It all started in the third grade in Portland, a really long time ago.

(Jaylynn and Sarah are shown in the third grade writing doodles in the same notebook, as part of a flashback)

JAYLYNN: Sarah was one of my best friends. We would do everything together. Talk on Facebook, go to the movies, pick up groceries for each other.

SPARKY: I don't get that last thing.

JAYLYNN: Who doesn't love convenience? Anyway, we were always happy whenever we talked to each other. She said that I was the coolest person in the world.

SPARKY: So what happened that changed all of that?

JAYLYNN: Well...

(Jaylynn goes home one day to see that her mom is face down and unconscious surrounded by a bunch of alcohol bottles.)

JAYLYNN: MOMMY, ARE YOU OKAY?!

(Later on, we see Jaylynn at her mom's funeral, alone by herself crying and grabbing her casket.)

JAYLYNN: After my mom died, I was never the same. She kept telling me it was my fault she was an alcoholic but I loved her anyway. I couldn't take it anymore so I stopped being happy and started hating myself because I thought it really was my fault.

(Jaylynn and Sarah are on the swings at school.)

SARAH: So, do you want to go to the movies this weekend?

JAYLYNN: I don't care, yeah.

(At the movies, Jaylynn is uninterested in anything and Sarah just has a concerned look on her face. Later on, Jaylynn leaves the theater and Sarah follows her.)

SARAH: Jaylynn?

JAYLYNN: WHAT?!

SARAH: Look, I know you're really upset because of your mom dying and...

JAYLYNN: My mom dying?! IS THAT WHAT YOU REALLY THINK?! If that's what you think I'm upset about, you really need your head checked. Look, I think it's for the best if we don't talk to each other anymore.

SARAH: But why?

JAYLYNN: Because I'm making some changes in my life. I don't need any more acquaintances.

SARAH: But we're best friends.

JAYLYNN: No, we WERE best friends. There's a difference. See ya.

(Jaylynn leaves Sarah alone, and behind Jaylynn's back, Sarah starts crying and slowly walks away from the theater)

Back in the present time...

SPARKY: I can't believe you did that to her.

JAYLYNN: I can't either. But back then, I really didn't care about anyone else. I hated everything in my life after my mom died and I took it out on Sarah when she didn't even deserve it.

SPARKY: So, did you two ever try becoming friends again?

JAYLYNN: Yeah, once. She apologized because she thought everything was her fault and I was like, "Yeah, whatever, I don't care anymore, we can be friends again." Then she wrote me this weird letter about how much she cared about me and I stopped talking to her after that because I felt like she was obsessed with me and treating me like I'm some kind of lover.

SPARKY: And you started bullying her because...

JAYLYNN: I just thought it was really funny. Every time she would come up to me to talk, I would tell her to "(bleep) off". Then I would tell my new friends that she had an ugly horse face and I would always try to knock her into garbage cans or make her trip and fall. It just kept going like that for months until one day, she messaged me on Facebook saying that she just wanted to be cool with me again. So I said, "Look, you can suck a dick because you're an asshole. You shouldn't think you can (bleep)ing talk to me any time you want and try to be my mother(bleep)ing friend because life doesn't work like that. I don't give a shit about anything you have to say to me so you can go to Hell and leave me alone, you stupid (bleep)ing stalker."

SPARKY: So what happened after that?

JAYLYNN: I never saw her again until the other night when she beat me. Sparky, I thought I put all of that in the past. Once I became your pen pal and moved here, I wanted to start a new life. I started going to anger management classes, I forgot about what happened with my parents and I stopped talking to all of those idiots in Portland. But no matter what, at some point, you're going to have to pay for what you did.

SPARKY: Look, Jaylynn, I don't condone what you did at all. But I don't condone what Sarah's doing either. Bullying just adds on more bullying and eventually, nobody wins. I really think you should try talking to Sarah and apologize.

JAYLYNN: Sparky, I almost ruined her life for no reason. What makes you think she would ever forgive me?

SPARKY: It wouldn't hurt to try. I mean, the guys hated you when you first met them and look at you now.

JAYLYNN: (sighs) I guess.

SCENE 6

Ike's Ice Cream Emporium

Interior Dining Area

Seattle, Washington

("I'm Not the Only One" by Sam Smith is playing in the restaurant. Jaylynn is looking around the joint, worried about running into Sarah.)

JAYLYNN: Well, at least I won't see Sarah here.

(As Jaylynn turns around, she runs into Sarah)

JAYLYNN: Ah, (bleep) my life.

SARAH: Jaylynn, what are you doing here?

JAYLYNN: What are YOU doing here?

SARAH: Buying some ice cream.

JAYLYNN: Well, I might be doing that too. And just so you know, this is a public establishment. Make the wrong move and the police will be here in a flash.

SARAH: Jaylynn, I might hate you, but I'm not stupid.

JAYLYNN: Wait a minute. Before you buy anything, I want to talk to you over there by that booth. The booth on the far end where no one can see what I'm doing.

SARAH: Why?

JAYLYNN: Because, Sarah, I want this grudge between us to end. I know you're upset...

SARAH: Beyond upset! You used me, Jaylynn. I thought we were best friends and then one day, you just decide I'm not worth shit. I mean, what kind of person does that?

JAYLYNN: Um, I don't know...pop stars?

(Sarah gives Jaylynn a disinterested look, which makes her nervous)

JAYLYNN: Look, Sarah, I know you hate me because of everything I've done to you in the past. I didn't realize it at the time because I was too focused on me. But things have changed. I'm not a bully anymore. I mean, I moved here, I have new friends, I started wearing different colors that aren't black. I'm not the same person I was in third grade and I hate the way I treated you. So, please, accept my apology.

SARAH: Well, I'm sorry for attacking you twice. That was out of line and I should have found a better way to handle it.

JAYLYNN: I accept. So, are we good?

SARAH: No, we're not friends, and at this rate, we never will be friends because I don't want anything to do with you.

JAYLYNN: But wait, why are you here anyway?

SARAH: None of your business, goodbye.

(Sarah walks away to make an order, and at that point, Jaylynn leaves as well)

SCENE 7

The MacDougal Household

Interior Living Room

Seattle, Washington

(The boys are all watching TV together. The camera cuts to a shot of the television showing a Pop Tarts commercial. A girl and a Wild! Grape Pop Tart are at a restaurant together.)

POP TART: I'm having a great time tonight, Julia.

JULIA: So am I. Hey, is that a solar eclipse?

POP TART: Where? As you know, we toaster pastries are suckers for astronomy.

JULIA: Right by the window!

(Julia then takes out some roofies and puts it in the Pop Tart's drink while cackling. The familiar "Pop Tarts! Crazy Good!" ending shot comes on)

RK: These ads are starting to get really creepy.

(Jaylynn comes in at that moment)

JAYLYNN: Well, Sparky, I swung and I hit a home run. Well, actually, in this case, I swung and missed with Sarah but with you, I swung and hit a home run so I guess it balances out...

SPARKY: Jaylynn, what are you talking about?

JAYLYNN: I tried apologizing to Sarah and it was a disaster. She hates my guts. And the worst part is, I don't even know why she's here.

RK: Sarah? Sarah Bennett, that sweet little girl you used to bully?

JAYLYNN: Believe me, she's not a sweet little girl anymore. She grew up and now that little bitch thinks she's Princess Kate.

SPARKY: Whoa, Jaylynn, calm down.

JAYLYNN: I'm sorry, it's just...I hate not knowing anything. All of a sudden, some girl from my past comes and beats me up without any explanation. I have to know what's going on here.

BUSTER: She probably has a Facebook. Lots of kids do.

JAYLYNN: You're right. The number one website to stalk people, that's genius!

SCENE 8

The Hernandez Household

Interior Living Room

Seattle, Washington

(Jaylynn is anxiously awaiting a message from Sarah.)

JAYLYNN: Oh, come on, it's been like, 20 minutes already.

(Jaylynn finally gets a message from Sarah that says, "How did you get my FB?")

(typing) JAYLYNN: "That's not important. I want to know why you're here in Seattle."

(Jaylynn gets a message that says, "I was visiting some of my friends that live here. I also knew you lived here, so I made it a priority to finish what you started.")

(typing) JAYLYNN: "You want to have dinner with me?"

(Sarah's response: "Why in God's name would I do that?")

(typing) JAYLYNN: "There's something very important that I have to tell you before you leave for Portland. It's about our old friendship."

(Sarah's response: "I'm not going to eat with you.")

(typing) JAYLYNN: "If you come and you still don't want anything to do with me, I'll never talk to you again."

(Sarah's response: "Fine, I'll go. Just give me the address." Jaylynn starts smiling.)

SCENE 9

The Hernandez Household

Interior Dining Room

Seattle, Washington

(Jaylynn and Sarah are awkwardly having dinner together. Jaylynn looks a little nervous.)

JAYLYNN: How are those potatoes?

SARAH: Fine. Nothing amazing though.

JAYLYNN: Well, yeah, nothing amazing. Hey, you remember when we would stand on top of the balcony of your apartment and throw potatoes at people?

SARAH: Yeah, it was pretty funny. That old lady almost killed you when she found out you did it.

JAYLYNN: My heart was racing, I had no idea what to do with myself! (giggling)

(Sarah's expression goes back to one of neutrality)

JAYLYNN: I'm sorry, did I say something?

SARAH: Nope, I'm just not that interested in talking to you.

JAYLYNN: Why not?

SARAH: You already know the answer to that.

JAYLYNN: No, I don't. Sarah, whatever happened in the past should have never happened. I was a real bitch to you and I shouldn't have treated you like that when you were just trying to help me. No matter what, I will always hate myself for what I did and the fact that you're even here is burning me up inside because I can't change anything.

SARAH: You really feel that way?

JAYLYNN: Yes. Things can't just be like how they were in third grade, but our friendship meant a lot to me.

SARAH: Then why did you bully me?

JAYLYNN: I...I really don't know.

SARAH: If you don't know, then I really don't need to be here.

(Sarah gets up and heads for the door)

JAYLYNN: Sarah, wait up, you could at least stay for dessert!

SARAH: I can buy my own treats, thank you very much.

JAYLYNN: Sarah, I'm sorry, okay? I can't say that enough, but I'm sorry.

SARAH: You can't say that enough?

JAYLYNN: No.

SARAH: I want to hear it 550 times.

JAYLYNN: What?!

SARAH: I want to hear you apologize 550 times right here, on the spot.

JAYLYNN: I'm not doing that, you jackass!

SARAH: Well, I guess we can't be friends then.

(Sarah slams the door shut, leaving Jaylynn mumbling to herself)

JAYLYNN: Stupid people never giving me a break no matter what I do around here.

SCENE 10

The Saleh Household

Interior Living Room

Seattle, Washington

(Jaylynn and Anja are watching TV while Lynne is doing homework at the family desk.)

JAYLYNN: I just don't know what to do. I tell Sarah I'm sorry, I make her dinner, I want to fix things with her but it's just not working out.

(Lynne gives Jaylynn a weird stare that she does not see)

ANJA: You thought about thinking outside the box and doing what you wouldn't normally do?

JAYLYNN: I don't think so, I'd rather stay inside the box to be honest. This is so hopeless. If I don't make things right with Sarah, my past is going to haunt me for the rest of my life. Why couldn't it have all just been a dream? Like radioactive ketchup or Super Bowl XLI?

LYNNE: You might as well just tell her you're in love with her at this point.

JAYLYNN: Were you born that stupid, or did it just take years to develop?

LYNNE: I started losing my intelligence the day I met you.

ANJA: GIRLS! Jaylynn, maybe Sarah doesn't think you're being sincere. She hears your words, but she doesn't hear the truth.

JAYLYNN: But I really am sorry for how I treated her. I have nothing to gain from lying about it.

ANJA: That's the problem, she might not see it that way. I think you should give it another shot and don't give up so easily. If you two were really as close as you say you were, she'll come around before you know it.

JAYLYNN: Yeah, but I would need something pretty big to pull that off. Wait a minute. Maybe that's it. What I'm doing isn't grande enough!

ANJA: What are you talking about?

JAYLYNN: I need a grand gesture to let Sarah know I'm sorry.

LYNNE: Or you could just do what a regular person with a functioning brain would and keep on apologizing.

JAYLYNN: I'm going to beat your ass one day.

LYNNE: Then try it.

JAYLYNN: I'm not in the mood to go to jail for murdering a little girl.

(Anja gives Jaylynn an angry stare)

JAYLYNN: You and I both know I'll do what I need to to prove my point. Still, I'm going to think about that grand gesture. If I plan it out right, Sarah and I will be friends again, my demons will be put to bed and I can finally sleep in again.

ANJA: When did you stop?!

JAYLYNN: When Sarah came back. I don't know, I just haven't felt the need to. It's like, when your grandpa comes back from vacation wearing rainbow suspenders, and you just sit there like, "Why? Why do it to yourself?"

(long pause)

(bored) ANJA: You really need to start sleeping in again.

SCENE 11

The Hernandez Household

Interior Living Room

Seattle, Washington

(Jaylynn is on her laptop, cracking her knuckles.)

JAYLYNN: Alright, it's time to think of a grand gesture. What could I do to let Sarah know I'm sorry? A basket full of donuts? Nah, too uncreative. Anime? Everybody loves anime! Wait, not everybody, I can't just assume shit like that. Man, this is harder than I thought. I just need to inhale a little bit (Jaylynn inhales the household air), and exhale a little bit (Jaylynn exhales the household air). I bet in an hour, I'll have a great grand gesture.

ONE HOUR LATER

(Jaylynn is on the floor, her hair is untidy and her eyes are widened)

JAYLYNN: A COUPON BOOK! YES, A COUPON BOOK! I USE COUPONS, SO SARAH PROBABLY USES COUPONS TOO! Wait, I got it. I just came up with a mind-blowing idea so mind-blowing, it blows the minds of people who have been blowing minds since they even knew what mind-blowing was. A coupon book...with nougat. Yes, caramel nougat. It melts in your mouth while you cut up your coupons. Yeah, baby, that's what's happening right there!

(Jaylynn's phone starts ringing, and she picks it up)

JAYLYNN: Hello?

RK: Um, Jaylynn, you should probably come to Sparky's house. He has a guest.

JAYLYNN: Who?

RK: I don't know, if I say anything, I might get my ass kicked. Just come over. And bring paper towel because Sparky doesn't have any and he doesn't even know it. Poor kid.

(Jaylynn sighs)

JAYLYNN: Alright, I'm coming.

SCENE 12

The MacDougal Household

Interior Living Room

Seattle, Washington

(Sarah is sitting on an ottoman in the middle of the room while Sparky is sitting on the big recliner on the left side of the room. Buster, RK, and Wade all look nervous while sitting on the couch when Jaylynn shows up, actually having brought paper towel.)

JAYLYNN: Okay, what's going on he...

(Jaylynn realizes that Sarah is in the same room as her)

JAYLYNN: Oh, (bleep) this, I'm out.

SPARKY: JAYLYNN! I invited Sarah here so we could get down to the root of the problem and you two could start being friends again.

JAYLYNN: Look, Sparky, that's sweet and everything, but it's over. The past is the past, and Sarah will always hate me so whatever.

SARAH: Hey, wait a minute. Always is kind of a stretch. Maybe one day, it will become a dislike and by the time I die, a possible tolerance. It's possible, but it could happen, Jay.

JAYLYNN: You're a real asshole, you know that? How many times do I have to tell you I'm sorry? That I can't change what happened between us and I hate the way I used to act? What do you keep holding onto, Sarah? Your pride? Your painful memories of what happened? Tell me so you can go home to Portland and we will never have to see each other ever again!

SARAH: Do you really want to know why I can't forgive you?

JAYLYNN: Yes.

SARAH: Do you want to know why I cried myself to sleep last night because of you?

JAYLYNN: Yes, I just said that.

SARAH: Do you want to...

JAYLYNN: TELL ME WHAT TO DO!

(Sarah turns around, gives Sparky a look, and then kicks him in the face, knocking him off his recliner. The other boys rush to his side and Jaylynn flips Sarah towards the other side of the room, cornering her near the door)

SARAH: I-I'm sorry, Jaylynn, did I strike a nerve? Did I just piss you off for no particular reason? We're having fun, aren't we?

JAYLYNN: Just know that I'm six seconds away from beating your sorry ass. Never, and I mean never, put your disgusting little hands on any of my friends. Now you better tell me why you're harassing me or I swear to God, I'm going to make third grade look like a walk in the park.

SARAH: Now you know how it feels to be powerless, to feel like every day is pointless because somebody has it out for you. You never knew how much you hurt me, Jaylynn. The only way you could ever be sorry is if you go through what I went through.

JAYLYNN: What are you talking about?!

SARAH: I'm talking about me kicking your teeth down your throat in front of all your little friends. You're going to lay down and let me destroy you until you have nothing left, just like what you did to me.

JAYLYNN: You're insane. You are absolutely insane, there is no way you're going to make ME of all people...

SARAH: Save it, alright? I knew I was going to come here and see the same old Jaylynn try to pick up her imaginary balls and refuse to do anything that doesn't benefit her. You're pathetic, you know that?

(Sarah chuckles and then leaves, slamming the door shut. Jaylynn looks at the concerned boys, and the camera zooms in on her look of frustration while the _Big Time Rush _theme song plays in the background)

SEGWAY SEGMENT

("Let It Roll" by Divide the Day plays in the background while Sparky and Wade hold up a sign in Times Square that says "Thank You, Heavenly Shorts." Sparky pulls off the sign to reveal another sign that says "Wade's First Failure.")

SCENE 1

iCarly Elementary School

Interior Mr. Morgan's Classroom

Seattle, Washington

(The kids are all anxious for something while sitting down in Mr. Morgan's class, except for Sparky and Wade. Manny, Will, and Gilcania are also in the class.)

(while facing the camera) SPARKY: Mr. Morgan is our science teacher. We just took a test a few days ago and now it's time to get them back. A lot of people are anxious to find out what they scored.

MR. MORGAN: Alright, class, it's time to give you back your test scores. Most of you scored pretty well. Some of you may need some extra studying.

(coughing) MANNY: Will.

(Will stares angrily at Manny and the two get their scores back. Manny is disappointed when he finds out his score, even more so when he sees Will's.)

MANNY: I (bleep)ing hate you.

(Sparky and Wade get back their scores as well.)

SPARKY: Cool! A 94! What did you get, Wade?

WADE: I, um...I got a 78.

SPARKY: Hey, that's not bad. Just do a little more studying next time and you're...

WADE: How could I have gotten a 78? I'm, I'm Wade, I don't get a 78. And this is my best subject.

SPARKY: Wade, just calm down. It's still a passing grade.

WADE: Yeah, in the B-minus/C-plus range which is way below my usual standard. This...this could be the start of a serious decline.

SPARKY: Should I hang my 94 on the wall, or is that too flashy? Wade? Wade?

(The camera zooms in on Wade's look of despair, and it zooms out when he is sitting at home mindlessly watching TV.)

WADE: I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!

(Wade runs upstairs while clutching his head. The next thing we see is him staring in the bathroom mirror holding a razor, looking close to tears.)

WADE: I'm a failure. Where's your sense of pride, failure? It's gone, everybody hates me now! Little boy Wade couldn't get the job done, huh? WELL, MAYBE HE DIDN'T WANT THE JOB, YOU HACK! (Wade starts shaving his head with the razor) I...I created these jobs for the mindless middle class to follow me. But what good is it IF THE ANSWERS DON'T GET CHANGED AROUND?! IS THAT WHAT I AM?! IS MY LEGACY TO BE THE NEXT BARRY BONDS?! Well, maybe that has to be the preconceived notion from now on. I no longer answer to the school bell, I...I answer to the naked truth poured through the disgusting hourglass like a...like a bottle of Olde E rushing through the gullet. That's what life means to me now.

(Buster comes into the house at that very moment)

BUSTER: Wade, Sparky wanted me to check on you! Make sure you're not going insane or anything! Wade?! WADE?! (brief pause) IF YOU'RE DEAD, SAY YES!

(Buster walks upstairs and checks the bathroom to find Wade still shaving his head, once again on the verge of tears. However, Wade has yet to shave off the sides of his hair, giving him the appearance of an old man. Buster has a completely blank stare, then proceeds to run off screaming. Wade just continues to shave his head.)

SCENE 2

iCarly Elementary School

Interior Hallway

Seattle, Washington

(Buster is talking to Sparky, RK, and Jaylynn at Sparky's locker)

BUSTER: It was so creepy. I come in there, he looks like George Jefferson. Why is he acting like this?

SPARKY: It's because of that test grade. I keep telling him not to worry about it, but he's gone off the deep end.

RK: Now you guys can't say anything about me being the crazy one anymore.

JAYLYNN: Awww, don't worry, RK, (proceeds to pinch RK's cheeks) you'll always be our little weirdo.

RK: What are you now, my mom?

JAYLYNN: That reminds me. I've never gotten to meet your parents before.

RK: That's another story for another time that's not now.

BUSTER: Hey, there's Wade!

("American Bad Ass" by Kid Rock playing in the background)

(Wade walks towards the kids slowly with a completely bald head, sunglasses, a leather jacket, a yellow T-shirt, a belt buckle with a racehorse on it, dark blue Wrangler jeans, and cowboy boots with spurs)

(with an adult Texan accent) WADE: You called for intelligence with a side order of sexual attraction?

SPARKY: Wade, what the hell is all this? And why are you talking like that?

WADE: From now on, this is my lifestyle. That test grade changed me in ways you cannot imagine. I was humiliated but I learned from my humiliation. From now on, I'm going to do what I want and stop caring about some silly little grades.

RK: You got a still-passing grade yesterday and this is how you choose to not let it bother you?

WADE: SHUT UP! You can save your lectures. I don't need it. I do whatever I want from now on. Understand? And make sure you understand something else. My choices in life will always be...(takes off sunglasses)...pure. And if my choices aren't pure, well...there will be hell to pay.

("American Bad Ass" starts playing again as Wade walks away. The four kids are all watching him walk off while a "To Be Continued..." sign appears at the bottom of the screen)

SCENE 13

The MacDougal Household

Interior Living Room

Seattle, Washington

(Jaylynn takes a deep breath and runs out of Sparky's house trying to catch up with Sarah)

JAYLYNN: Sarah, wait up!

SARAH: I don't need to hear you back down again, Jaylynn.

JAYLYNN: I'll do it.

SARAH: You'll what?

JAYLYNN: You heard me. I'm going to do it. I'll let you beat me up in front of everybody.

SARAH: Really? I mean, it's the only way I'll ever forgive you.

JAYLYNN: I get it. If I do go through with it, are you going to forget about the past?

SARAH: Yeah, I'll forget about it.

JAYLYNN: Good.

SARAH: And you know what? As a favor, I'll spread the word myself. We should probably do this ASAP because I've been missing a couple of school days for this.

SCENE 14

The Hernandez Household

Interior Living Room

Seattle, Washington

(Jaylynn is positioning a punching bag and clearing out space on the left side of the room for it. The punching bag seems to resemble a panda bear. Sparky does not look happy about it.)

JAYLYNN: So what do you think about this dummy I got? I figure that if I train with it, I could get a few lucky shots in.

SPARKY: I can't believe you're doing this. You're really going to let Sarah kick your ass in front of everyone we know?

JAYLYNN: It's all I can do. If I go through with it, then Sarah will forgive me for bullying her in the third grade, and I can finally clear my conscience.

SPARKY: Jaylynn, don't you see what's going on here? I mean, you of all people should see what's going on here.

JAYLYNN: No, not really. All I'm seeing is this dummy. I think it's a bit too small. I don't know, I don't want it to crush me though.

SPARKY: Dude, Sarah doesn't care about making amends, she's just working you. All she wants is to humiliate you one last time before she goes back to Portland.

JAYLYNN: Well, if she is, then she is.

SPARKY: Jaylynn, you can't let this happen. This girl is doing the same thing to you that you did to her. She's just going to beat you up and then laugh all the way back home because she thinks you had it coming.

JAYLYNN: Look, Sparky, I'm tired of being the bad guy. For months, I put that Sarah thing in the back of my head because I never thought I would get the chance to make things right. Now I can, and I'm not going to sit here and think about what I could have done anymore. Sarah can play her little games all she wants, but I don't really give a damn. I have to do this for me, and that's all that matters.

SPARKY: And you're serious about this?

JAYLYNN: Yes, I am. I can take a beating from Sarah, she's already done it twice. And if I were you, I would trust me on this.

SPARKY: Yeah, but...

JAYLYNN: Sparky, look at me. I need you to trust me on this.

(Sparky looks around briefly and lets out a big sigh)

SPARKY: Fine, Jaylynn. It will kill me inside to watch, but I'll trust you.

JAYLYNN: Thank you. Now, if you excuse me, I need to practice crying.

SPARKY: For what?

JAYLYNN: Well, if she beats me and I don't cry real tears, I don't want anyone thinking it's fake, so I have to make it look real. Maybe you could try telling me you hate me.

(with a bored tone/expression) SPARKY: I don't think I'm ever going to understand your past.

SCENE 15

The Hernandez Household

Exterior Backyard

Seattle, Washington

(It is time for the beating of Jaylynn at the hands of Sarah. There is a professional wrestling-style ring in the middle of Jaylynn's backyard, and the kids are all barricaded by a Texas bull rope across four different corners. The rope is connected by four poles as well. All the familiar faces are in attendance: Testicular Sound Express, the Masters of the Universe, Lynne, Yomaris, Manny, Will, Travis, Malik, and a couple of generic-looking kids to fill up space. The camera cuts to a shot of the four boys waiting for Jaylynn to arrive when Anja walks up to them.)

ANJA: Do you know why Jaylynn is doing something so stupid?

SPARKY: If I knew, I would try to stop it.

ANJA: This whole thing is ridiculous. (Anja walks away while shaking her head)

BUSTER: I don't get it. I thought you _did _know why Jaylynn is doing this.

SPARKY: I don't need people thinking I did nothing to stop it. Once Jaylynn decides to do something, it's over.

BUSTER: So you lied?

SPARKY: No, I just...hey, be quiet!

RK: Guys, Wade and I...

WADE: You mean, Wade and I. Oh, right, that's what you just said.

RK: Anyway, the two of us came up with a really sick idea for Jaylynn's funeral. Check it out.

(The camera does a close-up shot of the sheet music that RK is holding)

SPARKY: RK, this is just sheet music.

RK: Not just any sheet music. This is for "Smells Like Teen Spirit" by Nirvana, Jaylynn's favorite song.

WADE: We're going to have an entire orchestra play the song as a tribute. Sounds splendid, doesn't it?

BUSTER: Guys, if Jaylynn dies, she won't be able to hear the song while it's playing. But if you get a mime orchestra, maybe she CAN hear it! Sparky, remind me to book a mime orchestra for my birthday party this summer. I don't want anybody stealing that idea.

SPARKY: Believe me, Buster, nobody will steal it.

RK: Here comes Jay.

(Jaylynn walks out of her house and into the ring)

MANNY: I got five bucks on Sarah.

WILL: I got ten bucks on Jaylynn, just barely.

MANNY: Deal.

ANJA: Jaylynn, you can't be serious about this, you're going to get yourself hurt for what?

JAYLYNN: Trust me, Anja, I know what I'm doing.

ANJA: How do I know that for sure?

JAYLYNN: Just sit back, relax, and enjoy the show.

(Jaylynn walks to another corner of the ring)

ANJA: If anything happens to her, I'm stepping in there.

ASHLEY: Me too.

LYNNE: Eh, I don't care either way.

(Anja angrily stares at Lynne. Sarah is shown getting out of her car and walking towards the backyard after opening the wooden door that leads to it. She hears a chorus of boos and steps into the ring to stare down Jaylynn.)

SARAH: You know the deal, right?

JAYLYNN: Yeah, whatever.

(Sarah looks a little confused but gets into her corner anyway. Jaylynn cracks her knuckles and wiggles her feet. Will rings the bell, and the fight is underway.)

SPARKY: I can't watch this!

(Sparky turns away at that moment. Sarah goes for a roundhouse kick, but Jaylynn dodges it. Sarah tries to charge at Jaylynn, but she sidesteps it. At that point, Jaylynn dropkicks Sarah and ties her to the ropes.)

SARAH: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!

JAYLYNN: I'm not going to take a beating, Sarah. Forget it.

BUSTER: Sparky, look! Jaylynn played Sarah the whole time!

SPARKY: She did?

JAYLYNN: Guys, listen up for a minute, okay? Me and Sarah, we go all the way back to the third grade. And I was a bully back then. A horrible bully. But I've learned from that and I'm a much better person. That's what you refuse to understand, Sarah. You're letting the past get in the way of the present and you can't see me for who I really am. I'm sorry for everything I ever did to you. If I could take it all back, I would do it in a heartbeat. But you're letting what happened to you ruin your life. You're going down a dangerous road, Sarah. I'm not the bully anymore. You are.

(A smattering of applause is heard, especially from Asil and the boys)

SARAH: You know what? I should be the one saying sorry.

JAYLYNN: For what?

SARAH: For doing the same thing you did to me. All I wanted was to be friends again and once you turned me away, I gave up and I started to hate you. I just got so caught up in trying to torture you that I didn't realize you changed so much. But things can't be the same.

JAYLYNN: Yeah, they can. We live in different cities but we can make it work. (At that point, Jaylynn unties Sarah from the ropes) I'm not going to sit here and let our friendship die again. Believe me, those days are over.

(long pause; Jaylynn and Sarah start giving each other big smiles)

SARAH: I missed you so much!

(Jaylynn and Sarah embrace each other while the kids give more applause)

SARAH: I think it's time for me to go back home, but I'll make sure I talk to you tonight. It was great seeing you again.

JAYLYNN: You too, best friend.

(Jaylynn and Sarah hug again. Sarah then leaves the ring and hugs Sparky.)

SPARKY: What was that for?

SARAH: For kicking you in the face. I learned my lesson about revenge. And you have the best friend in the world, Sparky. Don't let her go.

SPARKY: I won't.

(Sarah also shakes the hands of Buster, RK, and Wade)

BUSTER: Thank you for not murdering our friend.

SARAH: Sure thing. (chuckles) See ya boys.

(Sarah walks out of the backyard and heads towards her car)

SARAH: I think I might come back to this place.

(In the backyard, everybody cheers Jaylynn.)

JAYLYNN: Thank you, thank you. Come on now, cut. It. Out.

SPARKY: Man, just when I think I have you figured out, Jaylynn, you surprise me yet again.

JAYLYNN: What can I say? When there's trouble, I find a way. And thank you for trusting me.

SPARKY: You're welcome.

RK: You know, you really have changed since we first met you.

BUSTER: Yeah, you used to be a bitch, but now you're awesome.

WADE: What Buster means is that...yeah, pretty much that.

JAYLYNN: I love you guys, I really do.

ANJA: Jaylynn, that was amazing! You have my props.

JAYLYNN: Thanks Anja. Hey, you want to grab a bite to eat with me and the guys?

ANJA: Why don't we just bring the Masters with us?

JAYLYNN: Good idea, they can pay for the food!

(Jaylynn and Anja start laughing, and the camera pulls back as Jaylynn continues talking with the guys as the other kids leave the backyard, eventually fading into black)

(at the Seattle Mariners Opening Day game) TESTICULAR SOUND EXPRESS: Now it's time for...

STEVE SONGS: Yoo-hoo!

KIDS: Music Time!

STEVE SONGS: With Steve Songs.

("Renegade" by Cimorelli playing in the end credits)

©2015 ANDERSON PRODUCTIONS


	2. The Karma Machine Backstage Pass

PRODUCTION/CULTURAL REFERENCES _(written on 4/13/15-4/16/15)_

-The plot for this episode was written a few months ago, and about 90-95% of what I originally came up with made it into the final cut.

-This episode was made to give Jaylynn a proper backstory based on her character and delve into why kids bully each other. This also directly addressed Jaylynn's change in characterization. When she first came onto the show as a main character in season two, Jaylynn was just a little more than the person she was based off of. About a year and a half later, she has developed into more of an original character and has started to show more traits of a protagonist. She has learned to respect people if she wants respect herself ("Masters of the Universe"), showed a large amount of self-determination ("Young, Stupid, and Pseudo-Religious"), and has become more self-aware than she was when she first came on the show. It has admittedly become more fun to write episodes for her at this point, and although I was initially uncomfortable with having her, I started to settle in and now Jaylynn is just as important to _Thank You, Heavenly _as the boys.

-This episode is also based off of real-life events which I do not plan to discuss here. The situation did involve bullying, but to a lesser extent than what was shown in this episode. When I first came up with the idea for this episode, Sarah was not as close to Jaylynn as she was portrayed here. She was initially just one of Jaylynn's many friends and became obsessed with being her friend again because she did not understand why Jaylynn stopped talking to her. I made her Jaylynn's best friend to give the episode more emotional depth.

-There was a certain problem in making Sarah look sympathetic, which would instead make Jaylynn look like the antagonist. I also considered making Jaylynn and Sarah constantly bicker during the episode over what happened. I rejected both scenarios and went with Sarah being an antagonist because Jaylynn turned her into one.

-To highlight Sarah's change in personality, I used Sabrina Carpenter for her current voice because Carpenter has more of a deep, serious vocal tone. On the other hand, Rowan Blanchard's voice is more representative of an actual child but it would contrast with Sarah's personality in a way that did not fit, so she was used solely for flashbacks. Blanchard and Carpenter also work together on _Girl Meets World _as best friends Riley Matthews and Maya Hart, and are just as close in real life (this actually played a part in casting them both).

-Another problem with this episode when I started writing it was that it would come off as too serious or it would not fit with the tone of the show. I decided to play the serious moments (like Jaylynn getting assaulted for the first time) straight because any attempts at humor would have killed the mood almost instantly. I was actually very proud of the script after finishing it.

-The short was another episode that never went into production, which would have originally aired as an 11-minute episode last month with another one related to it. I was going to finish it here, but I wanted to get the actual episode done so part two to the short will most likely come next week.

-While writing this episode, I continued planning out the rest of the third season. The goal is to get to 75 episodes overall, so at this rate, without skipping a single week, season three would officially end on June 28, literally nine months after the season premiere. That would set me up to do 25 episodes for season four (making the overall count 100), which I am actively considering. I already have the first couple of episodes for that season lined up. Two ideas I am considering for season three right now involve another time travel adventure with RK, Wade, and one of the other main characters, and another guest appearance by Cimorelli. Although this time, the joke would be that the other characters are even more annoyed by them but they are oblivious to it. It would mark Cimorelli's third appearance on the show, and they would be the first to make a guest appearance in every season ("Buster's All-Star Birthday Bonanza (Part II)," "My Weekend with the CimFam").

-Jaylynn's poetry contest was a reference to the fact that April is National Poetry Month.

-I had some hesitation about putting in the joke about Buster's pride in falling down the stairs, mostly because I did not want him to come off as an idiot. In the end, I put the joke in anyway.

-Like I said before, for privacy reasons, I will not go into how much of this episode was inspired by real-life events. But there is a lot of the material that I spun around to not only keep the story interesting, but provide a logical reason for Jaylynn's original personality before she met the boys. This is a callback to season two's "It's the Holidays, Dammit!" where we find out Jaylynn was traumatized and negatively influenced by her broken family.

-There was some thought over putting a chase scene in the episode where Jaylynn would avoid Sarah and drive away from her. One bit involved her singing "My Generation" by The Who until she saw Sarah in her way, forcing her to stop the car. However, it did not fit in with the rest of the episode at all and I decided not to use it.

-The Pop Tarts parody was a response to the suggestive commercials that have been airing lately, especially in one where a girl plays a nurse and menacingly says "Time for a feeding" while standing over a baby Pop Tart. The worst part is, the baby's parents are watching this and cannot/do not do anything to stop it.

-I would not be surprised if Sarah kicking Sparky in the face is considered unintentionally funny by some people, mostly because it comes out of nowhere.

-I want to explore Wade's character more these days. I feel like he has not been given a whole lot to do this season, and that is what makes the show so interesting to write for. You have 20-something episodes a season and you have to explore all five main characters, plus the episodes with a focus on the whole group at once or the side characters. This gives you a lot of material to mine from, at times.

-Wade's speech in the mirror has no context or anything like that. It is only meant to show how much he is breaking down. Him shaving his head while giving this speech is a reference to the season five _Family Guy _episode "Stewie Loves Lois" where Peter shaves his head and smears lipstick on his face after a failed prostate exam.

-Wade's transformation was inspired from The Undertaker's mental breakdown after Triple H refused to face him at WrestleMania XXVIII. This resulted in Undertaker cutting his hair (in the storyline) and speaking in more of a natural Texan accent (due to Mark Calaway, the man who plays The Undertaker, being a Houston native). This was supposed to be in a season two episode that eventually never finished production and was scrapped.

-If this show ever makes it to television, I would definitely do an episode in the first season that properly introduces Jaylynn and gives this particular episode more of a purpose. Looking back, I really did not like the way she first appeared which is why I worked hard on developing her character beyond that.

-Jaylynn references Joey Gladstone's famous "Cut. It. Out!" catchphrase from _Full House_. Dave Coulier has actually used this catchphrase on other shows, such as _Out of Control _where it originated.

-I wanted to play a Cimorelli song at some point, but I did not want it to come off as corny. Something tells me I have used "Renegade" before, though.


End file.
